I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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