See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
