Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Randomize
