Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
