Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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