Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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