Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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