i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize
