Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I'm like, not good at living.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
