my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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