you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
