I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
