im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
