It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
