you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Randomize
