There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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