he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
