you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
