Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
