i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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