Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
your like the ambassador to my penis.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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