His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
