her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
