Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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