If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
