Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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