Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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