Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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