He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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