Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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