hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
