I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
