I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Randomize
