I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
