is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
