I will die if light touches me.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
