I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I think pants incapable of making pants work
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