Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
