3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
It's never too late to be topless.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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