It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
