If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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