When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I'm sobbing to NWA
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
