Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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