Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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