You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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