just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
