Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
