Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
