i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I have already put on my inside pants.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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