Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
